Tuesday, April 21, 2020



A Poem by ChidiJ

It had always been an uphill battle.
'The struggle was real' as they say.
Love was not a bed of roses,
Life was not a fairy tale.
What honeymoon phase?
That was definitely a myth.

Marriage hit me like a ton of bricks, literally.
Jaw dropped.
For five years, maybe seven,
I couldn't believe my ears;
My eyes, they deceive me.
My heart, she hid in fear too afraid to acknowledge her reality.
So, safely tucked away, I matched on.
Head held high.
Chin up.
Shoulders broad.
Smile chiseled on.

I'm fine, don't I look fine?

But the truth, through my thin skin, my chameleon, you betrayed me.
I think they know, they've figured it out.
Therefore, I created a new face to help hide my woes.
After all, I had a good life, highly educated, lucrative career,
financially independent, gorgeous children, born again Christian.

I'm fine, don't I look fine?

But I wasn't.
I perceived death's aroma,
Was the reaper standing by?
Again and again I had tasted pain,
The agony you feel at the exact moment when your heart breaks,
When the pieces crumble to the floor,
Scattered like glass at your feet.
The moment you know that your destiny is Not with bae.
The moment you cannot digest,
When time stops and is filled with a void.
A void that's encased by pain incomprehensible. Argh!

But I'm fine, don't I look fine?

Eureka! I've got it.
No, I no longer want him dead.
No, I no longer believe he did, does, or ever can love me.
No, I'm not at all upset that he's been seeing her, and her, and her.

I'm fine, don't I look fine?

Eureka! I've got it.
I'm smiling!
Wake up! Oh Wow, I AM smiling!
Eureka! I've got it!
I'll get a divorce! 
That's what I'll do.
I'll end the pain.
I'll accept my aloneness.
I'll call a spade a spade.
There is no life left here for me.
And I choose to live!
I'll undo the mistake, daddy.
I'll unmarry the pain, mommy.
I'll save what's left of my beautiful son.

I leave.

And as he slanders,
I hold my head up for my heart smiles again.
I push on because the laughter is back in our home again.
The children sing again.
The children laugh again.
The children even plump up, cheeks get round again.
As the lawyers get fat with my twentie$ of thousand$,
With one last push
I trade in my gems for our freedom.
With one last push,
I hold my breath.
My heart beat stops.

It's June 21st,
The countdown is up.
Please sign on the line.
Stamp. Stamp. Stamp.
Umm, so it's done?
Yes, what were you expecting, fireworks?

Photo by Ralph Rabago from Pexels

Monday, April 20, 2020



A Poem By ChidiJ

It was a quiet Monday morning,
And I found myself “Divorced”!

Who am I?
Am I now one of those women who cannot submit to her husband?
Am I a woman so overdriven with ambition and pride that she cannot set a man above herself?
Am I a modern day woman, too educated to run a home?
Am I too educated to be domesticated?
Am I a male woman, not feminine enough to be loved?
Am I a bad mother, depriving her children of the ideal home and a father?

Who am I?
Who do you think I am?

I am a woman who decided that enough is enough.
I am a woman who can take a stand for what is right.
I am a woman who can challenge the status quo.
I am a woman who sees what needs to be done and does it.
I am a woman beaten down but who still rises up and conquers.
I am a woman living in reality, not accepting any more lies.
I am a woman afraid, but unafraid to reclaim her happiness.
I am a woman educated and still motivated to keep growing in knowledge and life.
I am a woman on a mission to change the world.
I am a woman who has sacrificed her life for her children.
I am a woman with over a decade’s worth of invaluable marital experience.

I am a woman divorced… 
I am rising above all odds.

Hear my victory chant…
I am Strong, Proud, Beautiful, Fearless!
I am Strong, Proud, Beautiful, Fearless!
I am Strong, Proud, Beautiful, Fearless!
Respect my worth!


Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Saturday, April 4, 2020

Young Girl, Love Myself

Young Girl, Love Myself

A poem by ChidiJ

You are who you are and who you'll ever be.
Yes, an older more refined version of that cute toddler that wowed your mom many years past.
Know that You are Loved mainly for who you are and not for what you do.

Embrace who you are, we already like who you are.

It's okay to come out from the shadows and shine bright.
Your unique combination is just what we need, the missing puzzle piece in this blessed life. 
Your unique flavor matters.

Young girl, "Love myself"!

Photo by Apex 360 from Pexels

Friday, April 3, 2020

Sweet Candy


A Poem By ChidiJ 

                                                   Sweet candy. Poison fruit.
Sweet candy, who made you?

Your deception flows through her veins.
Your reach changes her inner core.
You make her lie, hide, steal.
She loves you but do you love her?
You change her life,
A beautiful spring flower for now,
She is ravaged by your toxin.

This cannot be true, she thinks I lie.
But all know your hook:
You make her love you
But your love she can never feel.

She is never satisfied, 
Always longing for more of you.
No, you will never satisfy
Not even when she succumbs 
To your seductive embrace in death.
Then, even then you should claim your victory.
                                                But no, you must move on to your next victim
                                                      Nay, your next best friend.

                                                       Sweet candy. Poison fruit.
                                                     Sweet candy, who made you?


Photo by VisionPic.net